Robert Chicoski had quit his job as a corporate executive and moved from Wellesley to Dorchester because he wanted to help people. Two months after he arrived, he heard the news that a troubled African-American woman in Mattapan had killed her two children and then been fatally shot by police. Chicoski decided to help.
He went with the family's minister to the victims' home. At the front door, Chicoski, 59 and a stranger, introduced himself to Mable Graham, the family matriarch, and was invited in. He sat with the children's father and prayed through tears. He drove in the funeral procession. He bought an air conditioner for the family and installed it in a bedroom window. For days, Chicoski brought the family cold cuts, cheese, and bread. He became a friend. That was three years ago.
Last month, the bond between Chicoski and the Graham family grew more profound than either could have imagined possible in July 2002.
Shortly after the funeral, Mable Graham began to worry about the children's father, Scott Murphy, who is her nephew. He was paralyzed by grief. He would stay in bed for days. Graham feared he would never recover. She turned to Chicoski for help.
Chicoski, a recovering alcoholic who had read a Christian self-help book that changed his life, decided to take on the challenge.
''I said, 'Well, I'm a problem solver,' " Chicoski, now 62, recalls. '' 'Let me find a solution.' "
Chicoski would roust Murphy out of bed to take him to church on Sundays. The men would visit Jubilee Christian Church, an evangelical church in Mattapan. There, Chicoski would point out women and introduce them to Murphy, to take his mind off his loss.
Chicoski, who works with men who have been released from
prison and recovering drug addicts, tried to reach Murphy by showing
him a bit about himself. He would take Murphy to a
In time, Murphy would take Chicoski to his favorite restaurant, Bob the Chef's Jazz Cafe, known for its collard greens and barbecue ribs.
''I was alone except for Robert," Murphy, now 34, recalls.
Even after Murphy began to recover, even after his smile returned, Chicoski stayed in touch with the Graham family. He attended Mable Graham's 75th birthday party. He helped organize the one-year memorial service for the children.
But he never knew that Mable Graham's son, Ardis, was slowly dying.
No one in the family told Chicoski that Ardis Graham, 61, had renal failure, was on dialysis, and would probably die if he did not find a kidney donor.
A retired MBTA employee, Ardis had searched in vain for a donor. Everybody in his own family had been ruled out because of diabetes and high blood pressure. His friends tested to see if they were possible matches. Coworkers wrote to Oprah Winfrey. They tried to raise money to buy space on a billboard to advertise his plight, but they fell short of the $2,000 they needed. Several possible donors fell through because of last-minute problems.
In December, Chicoski received an e-mail from the family's minister, Karen Bryant, explaining that Ardis Graham needed a kidney or he would die.
Bryant was asking only for prayers. Chicoski went much further: Although he assumed he would not be able to help because he had had hepatitis, he decided to get tested anyway.
He was a perfect match.
As he had once before, Chicoski drove to Mattapan with an offer to help. This time he went to Graham's house to deliver in person the news that he would be the kidney donor. The men held hands in prayer and embraced.
On April 27, the two men underwent surgery at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. Graham spends most of his time in bed, but doctors say he has a good chance of returning to full health.
''You don't have somebody from Wellesley come into the black 'hood giving out kidneys every day," he said.
Suzanne Smalley can be reached at ssmalley@globe.com.